Written by Christina Kanu (@MissKanu)
As I scroll through InstaGram I have noticed a trend. There are always these quotes about “While you were turning up I was doing XY and Z” or “While you were sleeping I was doing this or that”. I absolutely hate these posts. Why is it so necessary to consistently compare our own journey and path to another person? How is it possible to watch your own grass when you are always peeping over at your neighbor’s grass?
Obsessing over another person’s life can cause many problems. When people are consistently comparing themselves to other people it enters people into a competition they did not know they were in. People stat racing against their friends in order to see who can get the best job, drive the nicest car, or take the most lavish vacations. There is absolutely nothing wrong with success. The problem is shoving down another person’s throat in order to make you feel better.
When a person makes a statement “while you were doing X I was doing this” the attention is automatically taken away from what you were doing. The emphasis is placed on the actions of other people and why they are not making the choice to do what you do. When a person is truly grinding or working on a project there is not enough time to pay attention to the actions of other people. When driving your car on success lane it is important to have tunnel vision.
People have a tendency to always want to “Keep up with Jones”. This saying simply means to live to the standards of your neighbor. If your best friend buys a car you have to buy one too. If your best friend gets engaged than you will not be satisfied until you get engaged too. Now, let me put a pin right here. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting success or to have similar things that the people around you have. The problem is when you obsess over it. There is a difference of “I want to live a nice life because I want a nice life” versus “I want to live a nice life because everyone around me is doing great and I feel that I have nothing to show for”.
I have listed below a few things that will help you to focus more on your own grass.
Get off InstaGram, Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat, etc from time to time
It is problematic to spend your entire day scrolling on social media. When you spend all day looking at the lives of others it is only a matter of time before you start comparing yourself to the lives of those you consistently pay attention to. It can happen to all of us. There have been times when I see certain things and a thought slips in my mind “I wish that was me”. It places you in a dangerous position because with social media people chose to expose what they want to expose. I have yet to see someone post anything on social media about how they are struggling to pay bills. That is not glamorous so posts that do not add to how we want people to perceive us are left off of our timeline.
Outline a plan for your goals
It does not matter what stage in life you are at, it is always important to have goals. Spend time every few months writing down what your goals are and how you want to achieve these goals. The more time you focus on your goals the less time you have to worry about what another person is doing. If you need assistance with this set up a consultation with me (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Know your intentions
Everything in life will always come back to your intentions. If you ask someone a question of “what is new in life” do not ask to be spiteful or envious. Ask because you truly are curious and truly do care. If someone just lost a job that is not the time to flaunt that you have a corner office with your name on the door. However, that would be the best time to tell an encouraging story to motivate your friend. Be mindful of the types of questions you ask people. Some people can initially tell in a person’s tone why they asked the question. Some people also enjoy making other people feel bad because they are achieving. There are always going to be those people who are ALWAYS achieving something. If their achievements bother you then simply remove yourself from being in the same space as those people.
Accept your Journey
Your journey in life is unique and specific to you. There are reasons that you are doing what you are doing. God did not intend for people to have cookie cutter lives. Every person has an intended purpose and a mission during their time on earth. Your purpose in life is not to be infatuated with the journey of another person. Focus on what you do best and what you love to do. Do not focus on the next person. More than likely the next person is not “checking for you”. When it is your time to achieve something it will be perfect and all of your hard work will be worth it. Wait until your “steak” is ready to be served. Why rush for a basic steak when you could have a filet mignon if you were patient ?
I want nothing more than for everyone to keep their eyes on the prize. Remain focused, remain humble, and your drive on success lane will be extremely worth the ride.